Diction.

In Chapter 6, "Diction," Trimble exhorts writers to pay attention to several qualities of word choice. Which advice feel familiar (or  perhaps necessary) for you to apply to your own writing?

     Trimble introduces the chapter with the topics "Conciseness" and "Vigorous Verbs" which both already give advice that I feel is necessary for my own writing. Due to typical high school assignments, I tend to have a bad habit of writing in the passive voice and using more words than necessary. Trimble states how one must learn how to respect words and to be concise, but also strong but selecting a sufficient, strong word. "Less is more" (Trimble, 49) is definitely something I can begin thinking about to improve my writing. Trimble also advises the reader (me) to remember that "Active verbs move us forward; passive verbs move us backward. Active verbs give us the actor up front; passive verbs make us wait to learn the actor" (Trimble, 50). I can start using the active voice more and remember to assign responsibility for an action. The last topic Trimble addresses is "Freshness," describing how a writer needs to be able to surprise the reader; a writer should write creatively with selective adjectives and verbs. This is another element I can apply to my writing (so basically, the entire chapter is helpful to my writing). I think all of the qualities that Trimble mentions a writer should pay attention to in this chapter will be essential to improving my writing this semester (I already tried to follow his advice while writing this blog post!).

Open Admission and the Birth of Modern Composition

     Dr. John Trimbur of Emerson College gave a lecture today concerning open admission of colleges and the birth of modern composition. I was only able to stay for solid 45 minutes because it did not really interest me, although I must admit I did learn some interesting facts. The education of writing began going through a reinvention around the 1970s. Students who began entering the City Colleges of New York precipitated a new kind of writing due to new open admissions (meaning anyone who graduated high school could enter college) which caused the reinvention of writing. One of the 'classics' of this new writing is an essay written by a student called "Reality Essay." The paper was in response to a prompt from a college, "What is reality?" (The actual essay is posted at the end of this blog post). When reading this essay, one will notice the many simple grammatical errors. However, this was birth of modern composition. It was a new kind of reading in writing. An essay like the "Reality Essay" has its own kind of order and logic that can be read by a new attentive reader. Rather than reading the essay and  automatically looking for corrections, the birth of modern composition was looking for readers to read how particular pieces of writing like the "Reality Essay" were operating, through a new "language" of writing.
     When open admissions first initiated around the 1970s, writing programs were created and populations of colleges doubled. However, it was difficult for the faculty members at first because the faculty wasn't developed. No one knew what was coming; Dr. Trimbur quoted "What is this shit?" from professors from that era, hence this being the birth of modern composition. With the birth of modern composition, writing became a much more significant area for colleges. Due to open admissions and the creation of writing programs, more proficiency testing were created, and tuition of colleges began to increase. All in all, the birth of modern composition was prevalent for the increase in higher education for the students in the United States. Although the lecture was quite boring to me, it was interesting to see how much writing has changed since the birth of modern composition. It's insane to think of the difference between the "Reality Essay" as a response to a prompt to get into a college, to the responses colleges are looking for today.

"Reality Essay"

Reality is what I say it is, I say is to live for "God." It's real or I such say that he is for real and he is more real if you know that your just here on earth for just some time, maybe fourty year, fifty, eighty years, but who realy knows. I guest nobody here on earth knows. You know in "good book," I mean the "Bible," it said there is two kinds of life, this kind fo life, that where living on earth and the life where he lives. This is reality to know that I'm just here for a short while because I donn't know when he is coming for me (death and passing away of the body) I'm glad I wont pass away just my body. But I have to take under consideration that there are other people that were born before me and there turn has to come before me. Because its just a line, your just waiting to be called.

A funny thing happen to me when I went to the A.P. shopping for food. I was with my wife and we got all the food that we can get for us to eat for two weeks. Something distriked my eye when I was about to pay for the ideoms. There was a book on the counter by the cash-register and this book (books) where for people to buy. It was publish by Readers Digest and it said "How to live a longer life in nine easy steps." This was realy funny to me because people of today are trying to prolong life, I mean a lot of people, doctors inventing something like a heart transplant (thats jsut one ex.) How far can you get. Like in the story of Edgar Allan Poe, Allegory and The Masque of the Red Death and Bartleby the Scrivener. Death comes and there no way in the world that you can stop it because the lord comes like a shadow at night, or the Angle of Red Death.

This is reality if people can see it but thay have eye's but they cann't see and they have ears but they cann't hear.

A Painful Glimpse Into My Writing Process.

     Chel White created a video describing his writing process. My writing process is surprisingly very similar to how White depicted his. At one point of his writing process White described himself as thinking of an idea to put into his piece and having to look for a pen and paper just to write down whatever it was that he was thinking so that he wouldn't forget it. When I need to write something (usually for school), I always keep the question/topic/idea of what I need to write in the back of my head for a while. I constantly try and think back to it, just in case I experience, see or think about something that I can relate to in my writing or simply write about. I like to do this because if I don't, I usually end up sitting in front of my computer screen or in front of my paper, with a crazy mind vacillating from idea to idea. If any ideas emerge in my head before I am writing the piece, I always take out my blackberry and begin to type it onto my phone. Sometimes it may be a sentence or two, while other times it may be paragraphs.

     Another similarity to White's writing process is how he described the initiation of his process. He stated the beginning of his process as him laying on the floor wondering to himself if he is dying. Obviously, I do not do this exactly, since I wrote this during class, nor do I do it while I am at home. However, I do have a similar feeling, although I don't wonder if I'm dying. I just panic a bit because I do not see myself as a writer. I fear that my writing will not come out as I want it to be, and I also am one of the most indecisive people I know. I tend to change my mind constantly, and when I start writing or typing my thoughts, I'll sometimes wish I wrote the opposition, especially when I must write of an agreement or disagreement to a specific question or statement. After rewriting my thoughts over a couple of times, I'll finally get into the flow of things and continue writing. Eventually I'll finish up what I am writing, and I read over my work several times to change, remove or add certain words and/or sentences, until I am pretty much satisfied with it. Voilà, I am an author, but not a writer.

You can view White's video here.

Ankle Show.

We are introduced to an Old Navy commercial by a sign that says, "The Ankle Show," while five attractive women dance and sing a song about showing off their ankles by wearing Old Navy ankle jeans and flats. A man also makes an appearance during the commercial, rapping a couple of lines in the song. Some lines in the song include, "Jeans raised up, shoes down low," sang by the women, and "Alright, time to show those ankles please; those sexy little things about a foot below your knees," rapped by the man. As the women sing, their dance moves include a lot of strutting and movement depicting an emphasis on their legs, trying to show them off. At one point in the commercial, it seems that they are singing and dancing outside of an office building, attracting attention from workers in the office, as the employees are mesmerized looking out the window at the ‘ankle show’.

In this particular commercial, the company is aiming to get women to buy their ankle jeans and flats. Although it is questionable to whether all women can dance and sing like the five women in the commercial, the company portrays a guarantee that your ankles and legs will look 'sexy' in the company's ankle jeans and flats. The consumer will also not be the only one to notice their own great looking ankles and legs; others will notice as well, just like the rapper in the commercial and the office workers in the office building. Not only does one get to show off their ankles and legs but one can do so cheap as well-- at the end of the commercial the company shows prices of their products: $19.50 for their jeans and only $14.50 for their "flirty flats."

You can view the commercial here.

Bread Crumbs and Cell Phones.

In the beginning of the AT&T commercial, we see two young children, who seem to represent Hansel and Gretel, arrive in a modern-day city. Walking through the city holding hands, we see the young girl drop bread crumbs behind them as they walked through the city, doing this would allow them to find a way back home. This shows how young children are usually not capable of remembering things by memory, and therefore can get lost very easily. As the two children stroll around the city, Gretel runs out of bread crumbs and turns around to look at her trail of crumbs. She turns around only to find them completely gone. Now, Hansel and Gretel have no way of getting home. However, AT&T will save the day.

Due to our advanced technology in our modern world, many cellular devices now have a GPS system, allowing a very simple way for one to get to one's desired location. Luckily, Gretel owns an AT&T cellular device that has a navigation system on it, allowing her and Hansel to be able to find their way back to their cottage. This commercial depicts how parents and/or guardians of young children can easily be less worried about their children getting lost, as long as their children own a cellular device. With a push of a button, or a touch on a screen, children can easily find their way to wherever they would like to be, especially if they are lost.

The commercial can be viewed here.

Horses.

Neigh

Clothes, Shoes and Heineken.

A Heineken commercial is introduced to the audience with a woman who is leading three well-dressed, attractive female friends through her living space. Eventually, the woman shows them what looks like a bedroom. We see the woman excitedly walk towards a double door located in the room. When the woman opens the doors we see a walk in storage closet filled with clothes and shoes. All the females scream hysterically with joy, jumping up and down, pointing and hugging each other, until a lower, distant screaming is heard. We are then taken to a scene of four well dressed, attractive men who have a rather heightened reaction to the walk in refrigerator they were standing in. The refrigerator is filled with Heineken beer, and the men are screaming, mouths open in awe while they have a similar yet more excited reaction to the beer in the refrigerator than the ladies do to the clothes and shoes in the closet.

The Heineken company is clearly aiming a target towards the male audience in this commercial. Although men may not be the only ones who enjoy and drink Heineken beer, the company uses a stereotypical 'dream' for males and females in our society to portray their product. The commercial depicts how clothes, shoes and a walk in closet fulfill the dreams of women, while a walk in refrigerator filled with Heineken beer fulfills the dreams of men.

The commercial can be viewed here.

12 Questions: AT&T Commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_iWajvrZns

1. What does the commercial say about children?
2. Who is AT&T trying to sell their product to?
3. Why were they using bread crumbs if they had the phone all along?
4. Why are they alone in a city?
5. Why are two kids walking at night?
6. How old are the children?
7. Why are they dressed so strangely in a modern city?
8. When is this taking place? 
9. Why is there no dialogue?
10. Why do they play that specific music during the commercial?
11. Why do they have a cell phone?
12. Where are their parents?

12 Questions: Heineken Commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIutgtzwhAc

1. Is the living space new to the men and women?
2. Why are the women presented in the beginning?
3. Who are the men/women to each other?
4. Are they wealthy?
5. How do their reactions differ?
6. Why aren't the women screaming for beer?
7. Where was this commercial situated?
8. What does the commercial say about men and women?
9. Do women like beer?
10. Must one be affluent to drink Heineken?
11. Why is the walk in refrigerator only filled with beer and nothing else?
12. Do men like clothes and shoes?

10 Things Baseball Players Do.

1. Run
2. Throw baseballs
3. Catch baseballs
4. Spit
5. Hit baseballs
6. Slide
7. Sweat
8. Practice
9. Play baseball
10. Wear jerseys

Warriors.

John Trimble makes the case that all writers are like warriors, defending claims and fortifying arguments. How do you respond to this trope, this figurative turn?

I agree with Trimble's statement. Like warriors, I believe that writers must be passionate, strong and confident in order to support their claims sufficiently. Although writing may not necessarily always need to be bold and assertive, in order for it to be well written, it must be written with a powerful voice in order to ensure that the point of the work is being put across to the reader. Written pieces such as essays, are written with a known argument and therefore the 'warrior-like' writing characteristics are clearly depicted and easily recognizable. Works such as poetry or novels, usually have a more subtle way of portraying a strong, passionate voice, but the warrior qualities are still present, just presented delicately. Thoughts, claims and arguments are put into words by writers and I believe that without writing like a warrior, there would be no possible way to come to a valid point in their text.

Violins and Shining Hair.

In a Pantene commercial, a deaf violinist is constantly being bullied by a rival musician who is a pianist. At one point in the commercial, the deaf girl's rival smashes her violin to the ground, inevitably damaging the instrument. A street performer motivates the deaf girl to follow her passion of playing the violin, in as much as a disability will allow her. Towards the end of the commercial, the violinist participates in a musical contest with her rival. After the pianist plays a vigorous piece, the deaf girl arrives on stage with luscious, shining hair; her once damaged violin is repaired with tape.

Although it is questionable whether such a damaged instrument can be played, the tape represents how the deaf violinist was 'repaired' by the street performer. The girl finally stood up for herself and followed her passion, although she was constantly being put down by her rival. The tape represents strength to stand up for oneself and to 'shine.' Although we are not told whether or not the violinist prevails in winning the contest, we do know that she has beautiful, shining hair, as depicted in the commercial. The commercial portrays how although there isn't always a guarantee to shine in particular situations such as the violinist and her musical talents, one can always be guaranteed to shine by buying and using the product of Pantene.

The commercial can be viewed here.

First Post.

So here I am at Hofstra and I am blogging.  Writing online makes me feel a bit strange. I don't know how I really feel about posting my thoughts online and giving others, including people I don't even know, an access to my thoughts; I guess that is the whole point of this assignment, and of the creation of blogging sites. I do have a tumblr, as do a couple of my friends from high school but I don't really like sharing my feelings on it. I just like reblogging pretty pictures, haha.

And now I just got a mosquito bite. I absolutely hate mosquitoes. They love me. I don't understand why. One time I read on the internet that if you eat a lot of garlic they stay away from you, so I tried it. I ate an clove of garlic (raw) and it takes 2-3 days to sink in so 3 days later I went out with my friends and it actually worked. But I'd rather not have garlic breath the entire summer.

I'm not really at Hofstra, but my assignment for my first post was to say "So here I am at Hofstra and I am blogging..." I mean, maybe it's not meaning literally... it could mean that I'm attending Hofstra University, in which case, I obviously am. Now I'm not sure what to write. I actually used to have stream of consciousness essays in 12th grade. I loved my English teacher. Mr. Thayer was awesome. Consciousness looks weird. That always happens to me, I'll write or type a word and it'll look strange, as if I spelled it wrong when in reality I spelled it correctly.

I am pooped. I keep writing new paragraphs although in a stream of consciousness there is no organization. I guess I'm just trying to be as organized as possible, when i really shouldn't be worried about that. Oh no, I didn't capitalize that last "I" but we're not supposed to edit or go back so I will leave it. And it's my blog right? So I don't really need to be grammatically correct. My mosquito bite is really itchy and I can't help but to itch it. I'm not sure what to write; stream of consciousness papers are always hard because then I'm constantly thinking "what do I write? what do I write?" And I'm supposed to be writing about what I'm thinking. 

Let's see, 3 more minutes. My blackberry's red light is going off which means I either have bbms, texts or e-mails and i really have an urge to check it but I can't! Not yet! I still have 2 minutes here. I wonder what everybody else is writing about. In my 12th grade English class we also read some papers aloud and it was always interesting to listen to others' papers, especially for a stream of consciousness. I am so tired. That's what I meant when I wrote "I'm pooped." One more minute, I want to think of something interesting to say but I don't know. My favorite color is green, I hope I did this assignment correctly, I hope I do well in college, I can't believe I'm not in high school, I'm listing a lot of things. This minute is going rather slowly, 6:04! I'm done. See ya =)